Paper Phantoms

“Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.” – Mark Twain


Fear is an inescapable facet of the human condition. It is one of the great equalizers in this world and a constant reminder of our own perceived inadequacies. Like an over bearing mother it seeks to control our lives and suffocate us. Yet it is only when we face these fears, when we challenge them, that we have the ability to grow as people. Only then do we realize that those things that seemed so real before were simply paper phantoms drifting in the wind. It is then that we see the bars that have held us captive and reflect on all the things we have yet to do and accomplish.

It is rather remarkable, the number of people I have met, who live with perpetual regret. They dwell on everything they wanted to do, everything they should have done, and cast these dreams off as fantasy. Parents with children, blame the children. Young adults with jobs, blame the economy. They are so frightened of the world around them that they dare not move for fear of falling into a gaping chasm. It’s one of the saddest and most terrifying sights in the world. The worst part is, fear is contagious and it spreads like some awful disease. Before you know it, you have absorbed their fears on top of your own and you’ve locked yourself away in the safety and security of what you think “right.” Then you live out your days like them, regretting all the things you did not do.

The reason I bring this up, is that fear is something I have been struggling with a lot in the last year. Some nights, I don’t sleep so well because I can’t escape my own fears. My mind is a torrent of “What Ifs” and “What nows?” For a while I couldn’t relax and my anxiety was through the rough. Not to worry though, I’m better now, and have found ways to deal with my fear. I move forward in spite of them and I do not force myself into a box. I don’t force myself to be anything I’m not. I just live as I see fit. I guess that makes me brave.

A friend of mine, has a lot of trouble with fear. She has this idea that there are things she must do, or she will look like a failure. She tells herself she’s not good enough, not strong enough, and that the world will break her. She’s wrong. She is very, very, very wrong. There is more strength and bravery in her than in a thousand others. I’ve seen her smile through the kind of pain that would cripple most people. But there are times…many times, mostly late at night, when she lets her fear get the best of her and that scares me. I don’t want her to ever live in regret of all the things she did not do. I want her to travel, or if she doesn’t want to, I at least want her to find something she really wants to do. I want her believe in herself, like everyone around her believes in her.

So now you’re thinking about it. You are thinking about all the fear inside of you and you are trying so hard not to climb into a dark hole and just stay there. I promise you, your fears will subside, if you push through them. Find what it is that drives you, and pursue it. It might be terrifying. Others will try to scare you off, but you must keep going. You must remember that fear does not control your life. You are in control and can tear down these paper phantoms anytime you want. Just stop and think, remember what makes you strong. Remember all that you have survived and all that you have accomplished. You might fail. You might stumble and stutter, but when you make it through to the other side, you will feel stronger than you have ever felt in your life. Now is the time. Now is the time. Don’t let your fears cloak you in regret and self-doubt. Remember that you are strong. That you are good enough and that if you’ve made it this far, you can do anything. NOW IS THE TIME.

P.S. Hugh Grant is awesome! Watch out for FLASH FLOOD WARNINGS in California. I want to go to Dollywood to see Dolly Parton....Warren Buffet!