In honor of one of my esteemed followers, I will keep this weeks entry short and sweet...
Looking for a job...suuuuuuuccccckkkkkkssssssss!
Friday, July 29, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Nothing But Dandruff
There is nothing worse than “flakey” people. Okay, maybe White Supremacists, Joseph McCarthy, and the sound of Styrofoam squeaking, but other than that, nothing is worse. I don’t know what cultural morays have programmed our generation to vomit empty phrases like, “We should hang out sometime!” Or “I should be able to make it.” But it needs to stop, immediately. I myself am guilty of saying these things from time to time. There are many people that view a flakey attitude as a courtesy to those around them. As if by not rejecting offers outright, they are somehow being kind. Say yes to everything, and disappoint no one!
Now don’t get me wrong, not everyone is a flake, in fact it seems to be a widely cultural creation. For instance, I live in Southern California, the Mecca of Flakey people. Whether through the ridiculous mouths of suburban soccer moms, whose monolithic SUVs and stiff corpse-like faces litter the streets, or the pretentious douche bags yuppies who make a living riding the backs of others, the epidemic is widespread and destructive. Keep in mind, that I am not a self-hating Californian. As a transplant from the Pacific Northwest, I chose to live her. I love the urban sprawl of The City of Angeles and the vibrant beaches of Newport, Huntington, and Laguna. Not everyone is SoCal is a flake and there are many genuine, honest, and hard working people. In fact, I can’t stand people who badmouth California. Yet “flakey” is how most of the world views us.
However, being an outsider has allowed me to view this crisis from a different perspective. I grew up in a fairly rural area where men still hang Confederate Flags and the names of Jesus, John Wayne, and Ronald Regan go hand in hand (Think less Seattle, more Idaho). Many come from farming communities and still hold on to much of what their forefathers believed (I’m still waiting for English militiamen to take over my house). There is a certain pride that these people take in sticking to their commitments. The “word is my bond” philosophy is still held in high regard and anyone who feels otherwise is viewed with suspicion and contempt. That’s why most of the politicians have more experience owning saloons than they do with politics. In essence, it’s very different. Not necessarily better, just different. There are many flakey people there too. I think this comparison offers a good example of what I mean by, cultural creation. There are some areas of the country, some areas of your own backyard where flakey is more acceptable than others.
Yet, whether through cultural evolution or just random chance, the acceptance of flakey people has steadily been growing. I suspect that much of this attitude stems from our own childish insecurities. As if having nothing to do on a Friday night would shame you in the eyes of your compatriots. Better to act as if you have a million things to do, then say no to all of them and stay home watching The Notebook and eating Ben and Jerry’s®.
I am quite tired of people I know committing to things and then at the last minute ducking out. There’s never a courtesy phone call or adequate warning. Most of us know when we are being blown off, even if we don’t admit it. If there is any discussion about the incident, it is choked with empty platitudes designed to make the spurned party member feel less like you can’t stand them.
The saddest part of this whole thing is that by being a flake, you fail to establish any real connections. Your life is filled with “friends”, none of which you can count on. You are left alone with your empty platitudes and melted Cherry Garcia®. My challenge to you, to us, is to cast off the shackles of insecurity and take a lesson from the great American philosopher RZA, “Word is bond mother&#@$!*” As you venture out into the world, be honest and fourth coming. Choose diplomacy over flakeyness. If you have to say no, choose your words carefully, and whenever possible be honest. Subterfuge may serve you in certain circles, *cough *cough HOLLYWOOD ehem… but I find that with the right wording subterfuge is not usually necessary and can do you more harm than good.
P.S. Show up on time to things! I’m talking to you “fashionably late” people!
Now don’t get me wrong, not everyone is a flake, in fact it seems to be a widely cultural creation. For instance, I live in Southern California, the Mecca of Flakey people. Whether through the ridiculous mouths of suburban soccer moms, whose monolithic SUVs and stiff corpse-like faces litter the streets, or the pretentious douche bags yuppies who make a living riding the backs of others, the epidemic is widespread and destructive. Keep in mind, that I am not a self-hating Californian. As a transplant from the Pacific Northwest, I chose to live her. I love the urban sprawl of The City of Angeles and the vibrant beaches of Newport, Huntington, and Laguna. Not everyone is SoCal is a flake and there are many genuine, honest, and hard working people. In fact, I can’t stand people who badmouth California. Yet “flakey” is how most of the world views us.
However, being an outsider has allowed me to view this crisis from a different perspective. I grew up in a fairly rural area where men still hang Confederate Flags and the names of Jesus, John Wayne, and Ronald Regan go hand in hand (Think less Seattle, more Idaho). Many come from farming communities and still hold on to much of what their forefathers believed (I’m still waiting for English militiamen to take over my house). There is a certain pride that these people take in sticking to their commitments. The “word is my bond” philosophy is still held in high regard and anyone who feels otherwise is viewed with suspicion and contempt. That’s why most of the politicians have more experience owning saloons than they do with politics. In essence, it’s very different. Not necessarily better, just different. There are many flakey people there too. I think this comparison offers a good example of what I mean by, cultural creation. There are some areas of the country, some areas of your own backyard where flakey is more acceptable than others.
Yet, whether through cultural evolution or just random chance, the acceptance of flakey people has steadily been growing. I suspect that much of this attitude stems from our own childish insecurities. As if having nothing to do on a Friday night would shame you in the eyes of your compatriots. Better to act as if you have a million things to do, then say no to all of them and stay home watching The Notebook and eating Ben and Jerry’s®.
I am quite tired of people I know committing to things and then at the last minute ducking out. There’s never a courtesy phone call or adequate warning. Most of us know when we are being blown off, even if we don’t admit it. If there is any discussion about the incident, it is choked with empty platitudes designed to make the spurned party member feel less like you can’t stand them.
The saddest part of this whole thing is that by being a flake, you fail to establish any real connections. Your life is filled with “friends”, none of which you can count on. You are left alone with your empty platitudes and melted Cherry Garcia®. My challenge to you, to us, is to cast off the shackles of insecurity and take a lesson from the great American philosopher RZA, “Word is bond mother&#@$!*” As you venture out into the world, be honest and fourth coming. Choose diplomacy over flakeyness. If you have to say no, choose your words carefully, and whenever possible be honest. Subterfuge may serve you in certain circles, *cough *cough HOLLYWOOD ehem… but I find that with the right wording subterfuge is not usually necessary and can do you more harm than good.
P.S. Show up on time to things! I’m talking to you “fashionably late” people!
Friday, July 8, 2011
Paper Phantoms
“Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.” – Mark Twain
Fear is an inescapable facet of the human condition. It is one of the great equalizers in this world and a constant reminder of our own perceived inadequacies. Like an over bearing mother it seeks to control our lives and suffocate us. Yet it is only when we face these fears, when we challenge them, that we have the ability to grow as people. Only then do we realize that those things that seemed so real before were simply paper phantoms drifting in the wind. It is then that we see the bars that have held us captive and reflect on all the things we have yet to do and accomplish.
It is rather remarkable, the number of people I have met, who live with perpetual regret. They dwell on everything they wanted to do, everything they should have done, and cast these dreams off as fantasy. Parents with children, blame the children. Young adults with jobs, blame the economy. They are so frightened of the world around them that they dare not move for fear of falling into a gaping chasm. It’s one of the saddest and most terrifying sights in the world. The worst part is, fear is contagious and it spreads like some awful disease. Before you know it, you have absorbed their fears on top of your own and you’ve locked yourself away in the safety and security of what you think “right.” Then you live out your days like them, regretting all the things you did not do.
The reason I bring this up, is that fear is something I have been struggling with a lot in the last year. Some nights, I don’t sleep so well because I can’t escape my own fears. My mind is a torrent of “What Ifs” and “What nows?” For a while I couldn’t relax and my anxiety was through the rough. Not to worry though, I’m better now, and have found ways to deal with my fear. I move forward in spite of them and I do not force myself into a box. I don’t force myself to be anything I’m not. I just live as I see fit. I guess that makes me brave.
A friend of mine, has a lot of trouble with fear. She has this idea that there are things she must do, or she will look like a failure. She tells herself she’s not good enough, not strong enough, and that the world will break her. She’s wrong. She is very, very, very wrong. There is more strength and bravery in her than in a thousand others. I’ve seen her smile through the kind of pain that would cripple most people. But there are times…many times, mostly late at night, when she lets her fear get the best of her and that scares me. I don’t want her to ever live in regret of all the things she did not do. I want her to travel, or if she doesn’t want to, I at least want her to find something she really wants to do. I want her believe in herself, like everyone around her believes in her.
So now you’re thinking about it. You are thinking about all the fear inside of you and you are trying so hard not to climb into a dark hole and just stay there. I promise you, your fears will subside, if you push through them. Find what it is that drives you, and pursue it. It might be terrifying. Others will try to scare you off, but you must keep going. You must remember that fear does not control your life. You are in control and can tear down these paper phantoms anytime you want. Just stop and think, remember what makes you strong. Remember all that you have survived and all that you have accomplished. You might fail. You might stumble and stutter, but when you make it through to the other side, you will feel stronger than you have ever felt in your life. Now is the time. Now is the time. Don’t let your fears cloak you in regret and self-doubt. Remember that you are strong. That you are good enough and that if you’ve made it this far, you can do anything. NOW IS THE TIME.
P.S. Hugh Grant is awesome! Watch out for FLASH FLOOD WARNINGS in California. I want to go to Dollywood to see Dolly Parton....Warren Buffet!
Fear is an inescapable facet of the human condition. It is one of the great equalizers in this world and a constant reminder of our own perceived inadequacies. Like an over bearing mother it seeks to control our lives and suffocate us. Yet it is only when we face these fears, when we challenge them, that we have the ability to grow as people. Only then do we realize that those things that seemed so real before were simply paper phantoms drifting in the wind. It is then that we see the bars that have held us captive and reflect on all the things we have yet to do and accomplish.
It is rather remarkable, the number of people I have met, who live with perpetual regret. They dwell on everything they wanted to do, everything they should have done, and cast these dreams off as fantasy. Parents with children, blame the children. Young adults with jobs, blame the economy. They are so frightened of the world around them that they dare not move for fear of falling into a gaping chasm. It’s one of the saddest and most terrifying sights in the world. The worst part is, fear is contagious and it spreads like some awful disease. Before you know it, you have absorbed their fears on top of your own and you’ve locked yourself away in the safety and security of what you think “right.” Then you live out your days like them, regretting all the things you did not do.
The reason I bring this up, is that fear is something I have been struggling with a lot in the last year. Some nights, I don’t sleep so well because I can’t escape my own fears. My mind is a torrent of “What Ifs” and “What nows?” For a while I couldn’t relax and my anxiety was through the rough. Not to worry though, I’m better now, and have found ways to deal with my fear. I move forward in spite of them and I do not force myself into a box. I don’t force myself to be anything I’m not. I just live as I see fit. I guess that makes me brave.
A friend of mine, has a lot of trouble with fear. She has this idea that there are things she must do, or she will look like a failure. She tells herself she’s not good enough, not strong enough, and that the world will break her. She’s wrong. She is very, very, very wrong. There is more strength and bravery in her than in a thousand others. I’ve seen her smile through the kind of pain that would cripple most people. But there are times…many times, mostly late at night, when she lets her fear get the best of her and that scares me. I don’t want her to ever live in regret of all the things she did not do. I want her to travel, or if she doesn’t want to, I at least want her to find something she really wants to do. I want her believe in herself, like everyone around her believes in her.
So now you’re thinking about it. You are thinking about all the fear inside of you and you are trying so hard not to climb into a dark hole and just stay there. I promise you, your fears will subside, if you push through them. Find what it is that drives you, and pursue it. It might be terrifying. Others will try to scare you off, but you must keep going. You must remember that fear does not control your life. You are in control and can tear down these paper phantoms anytime you want. Just stop and think, remember what makes you strong. Remember all that you have survived and all that you have accomplished. You might fail. You might stumble and stutter, but when you make it through to the other side, you will feel stronger than you have ever felt in your life. Now is the time. Now is the time. Don’t let your fears cloak you in regret and self-doubt. Remember that you are strong. That you are good enough and that if you’ve made it this far, you can do anything. NOW IS THE TIME.
P.S. Hugh Grant is awesome! Watch out for FLASH FLOOD WARNINGS in California. I want to go to Dollywood to see Dolly Parton....Warren Buffet!
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